a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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