i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
