dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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