R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
