Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
