i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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