You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
