We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
