i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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