woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
