im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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