she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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