the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
