You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
