winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
as a side note pls kill me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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