Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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