I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
