Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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