on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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