Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
