We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
