I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
That was an excessively violent trivia night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
