life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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