My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She bit a glass in half.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Randomize
