they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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