I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
