mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
