Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
