Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
