Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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