i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
