there's paper in my vomit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i think im in europe. pls send help
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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