Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
