but the lizard people decide everything anyway
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
