Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
