If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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