the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
