Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
