I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
