Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I've blown a few things in my day
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize