saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
