You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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