after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
