Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
