Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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