You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
