There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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