Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
