I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
