I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
