You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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