Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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